Awkward Silences
by TheToxicInterest
Summary: Even Kyle and Cartman aren't sure how they got together in the first place. But one thing was certain: their relationship was to be filled with awkward silences. Kyman.


**This is my first **_**South Park**_** fanfic. I wanted to show how I think the early stages of Kyle and Cartman's relationship would work out.**

**WARNING: Language, racist remarks (from Cartman, of course), and slash.**

**Pairing: Kyman**

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**South Park**_**.**

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As he attempts to work out the Algebra 2 equation, a pair of eyes burn a hole in the side of his face. He tries to ignore it, but he can still see those intense honey-colored eyes in his periphery. He can smell red licorice on the other boy's breath, and it seems his entire existence is clogged by the prescence of Eric Cartman.

"Will you let me do my fucking homework?" Kyle finally snaps, turning to the brunet with an exasperated sigh.

Cartman gives him the tiniest half-smile. "Sorry. It's not _my_ fault you're too smart for an easier math class, _Jew._"

He picks up the abnormality of the sentence almost immediately, seeing the compliment as well as the insult: Cartman is calling him smart, but implying it's only due to Kyle's being Jewish.

"I'm almost done, fat ass," says the redhead, moving on to the next quadratic equation. "So stop staring, it's distracting."

"I can't believe a Jew can have such beautiful eyes..." Cartman averts his own eyes for just a moment, and one has to wonder whether he meant to say that out loud.

Kyle blushes, his pencil coming to a halt over the paper as if he's been frozen. He's still not used to Cartman complimenting him, even if some form of venom laces every kind sentence.

Before they started dating, they'd been the worst of enemies. A conversation between the two- from age eight up until about a month ago- would be filled with fat jokes and racist Jew jokes and explitives, explitives, explitives. Dating hasn't taken that away, really... But it _has_ added a new layer of awkwardness to all of their encounters.

Kyle gulps, going back to work as Cartman continues to stare. And stare... And stare...

"God damn it, Cartman!" he exclaims, slamming his pencil on the table to turn to his... boyfriend? It still seems odd to call him that. "You're doing this just to piss me off, aren't you?"

"Kahl, I've been staring at you like this for _four years_\- you just never noticed. And I'm not stopping now, so get used to it, fag."

Kyle sighs, his anger replaced by some mixture of shame and confusion. To think that all this time, since they were nine years old, his enemy's been harboring a crush on him. That every "I hate you, Kahl" was a lie and every "I hate you, fat ass" was like a punch to Cartman's face. It's hard to believe that he's been staring at Kyle in secret for years, admiring him like some kind of cliche forbidden fruit. And Kyle never even _noticed._

This overweight brunet is not supposed to have _feelings_. He's not supposed to praise him, let alone be in love with him... and yet, he claims to be.

"Why'd you take so fucking long to tell me you liked me?" Kyle asks suddenly.

"What was I supposed to say?" Cartman rolls his eyes before faking an innocent smile. In a too-sweet tone, he tells him, "Hey, Kahl, I have a huge crush on you I've been hiding for years. Please stop hating me and convert to my religion so we can be together!"

Kyle seems to burst with laughter, something he's been doing a lot more often in Cartman's presence (surprisingly). It's true- if he'd said that, Kyle would have assumed some kind of mind-controling aliens were at work... Which wouldn't be all that strange, considering where they live.

"I'm never gonna convert, you know."

"Then I guess you'll be going to Hell." He shrugs as if the matter doesn't bother him, but something quickly flashes in his eyes. "Oh, well. I guess they could use an angel."

"Did... did you just call me an angel?"

The boys stare at each other for a moment.

"I-I meant to say 'kike'." He's not used to being nice to Kyle, either.

"Fuck you, dough boy." He sneers, turning back to his homework.

They stay like that for a while once again. When Kyle announces he's done, he turns to see the same brown eyes scrutinizing him. And they stare at each other in yet another uncomfortable silence.

Cartman's snicker breaks the tension. "How the fuck did we end up together?"

"I guess... Hell froze over?"

"No, it froze over twice. Then pigs flew, and _Family Guy_ made a joke relating to the plot of the episode."

"I like _Family Guy_, dude!" Kyle insists, though he doesn't want to get into this argument again.

"Doesn't mean it's any less retarded."

"You can't talk about something being retarded when _you're_ a fucking moron!"

"Well, _you're_ a ginger Jew from Jersey!"

"I'm not from Jersey, for God's sake!"

"Your fat mom is!"

"Don't talk about my mom, you fat bitch!"

"Can I kiss you?"

Another silence- Kyle looks at him as if he's just announced his love for hippies.

"Well, can I?" asks Cartman impatiently.

_No! Hell no!_ is what he feels he should say, but shock melts away his anger. He finds himself slowly nodding, willing to let Hell freeze over a third time.

Cartman leans in slowly and places his lips on Kyle's. It's technically their third kiss, but Cartman doesn't count any of them as being "real" for the sole reason that Kyle never kisses him back.

When the brunet pulls away, he softly says, "You dirty little Jew."

But Kyle only turns away from him, muttering a quick "Shut up, Cartman" while trying to ignore the tingling feeling on his lips.

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